A little about my girl....Chelsea..

Chelsea Renee' Ousley.....

Sorry it's taking me so long to do this post. I have been thinking about it alot and wasn't sure what all I wanted to make public on here. There are just some things that are a little private. I do want to share about Chelsea though, but might leave some things out.....

I knew when Chelsea was born that she was going to have a mind of her own. I was in labor with Chelsea for a while and had dialated to 8cm, when I was checked by a nurse (the doctor didn't figure it out) and she thought she felt a bottom instead of a head! I was in such shock and so scared (I was only EIGHTEEN by the way) about what was going to happen next. They did an ultrasound and sure enough, Chelsea was bottom first! Now even though I was only eighteen, I had spent the past nine months reading "What to expect when Expecting." I read the WHOLE book from cover to cover, BUT had skipped the C-section part cause I knew that didn't apply to me! I was devasted at first when I learned I had to have a C-section and terrified all at the same time. But the moment I saw Chelsea and heard her cry her first cry, I completly forgot about how I had her and focused on how beautiful she was.

Chelsea was great as an infant and was a good baby, but her strong-willed personality didn't take long to shine through. Her toddler years came along and sure enough it wasn't not a fun time for me. You have to understand that before Chelsea even turned two I went through a traumatic event. I am not going into details, but this affected the way I parented Chelsea for a year or so. It wasn't easy during Chelsea's toddler years for me for many reasons, I wasn't even grown up myself, I was still in a selfish mode, and I also went through a depression. I regret how I handled the traumatic event with Chelsea and feel that sometimes I might have neglected her emotionally. These are regrets I will have to live with for the rest of my life. I have had some counseling for the past six months or so to deal with alot of things and have learned that no matter how much I feel like I messed up during those toddler years, we can still recover from it.

I knew from the moment Chelsea started daycare that she was a little different then the rest of the kids. Don't get me wrong I didn't think she was mentally disabled or anything, but I knew she wasn't exactly like the other children. Chelsea started school in England, they start at the age of FOUR there. This is when things progressed to get worse. At the age of four, I had to have a one on one relationship with her teacher because she couldn't behave at all. She couldn't control herself in class and did what she wanted, when she wanted. It continued from there and by the fourth grade it moved over into her academics. She not only struggled behaviorally, but academically too. Steve and I were so frustrated and confused as to what to do. I remember one time we resorted to wiping out her WHOLE room (I never said we were perfect parents ok) no toys, tv, no stuffed animals, barbies, NOTHING! It was all wiped out and gone. We told her at the end of each week, if she behaved, she could get one thing back. Do you think that girl got one item back? Nope. She could care less, once it was out of sight it was out of mind.

Fast forward to the sixth grade...just last year. Chelsea struggled mostly academically, but still had behavior problems at home too. She was improving some in her behavior that I thought AND PRAYED that she was growing out of this phase that she had been in HER WHOLE LIFE. I couldn't figure out if she struggled with her academics due to laziness or just because she didn't get it. I want you to understand that I think our society is so overly-medicated. Don't take offense to this if you are on medicine because I have had to resort to anti-depressents once when Steve was gone for six months. It truly helped me and I don't put anyone down that is on meds. It's just that I think children are so overly diagnosed these days and the doctors are so quick to throw them on meds for a quick fix. In the back of my mind I had this feeling that Chelsea needed to be on some type of medication though.To me it seemed there wasn't any reason that a 11 or 12 year old should be throwing temper tantrums like a TWO year old. It was pretty bad at times and I mostly blamed her behavior on her missing Steve while he was deployed.

Now learning more about ADD and how it affects a person's impulse control, I can see that this it wasn't just the deployment her her being lazy. I sometimes thought it stemmed back to her toddler years when I wasn't a great mother. It could have a little to do with it, but not too much. Anyways, last year in the sixth grade Chelsea passed to the 7th grade. I was baffled. I couldn't believe after all the horrible grades I saw all year that they passed her to the next grade. I was hoping that a teacher would speak up about Chelsea and possibly tell me to take her to get her tested. Why I was in such a denial, I am not sure. I just was so focused on making sure my child was not medicated and I think I overlooked alot of things...I was in denial.

So we all know how hard 7th grade can be. All I heard when Chelsea was in 6th grade was how rough and miserable Middle School is for the child and parents. I was not looking forward to this year at all. I knew it was going to be a struggle from the start and sure enough Chelsea proved me right. Her first report card she got all F's. Yes, F's.Steve and I were so unhappy with her and didn't think we could go through another year of this again. In fact we had decided, we weren't going to. I met with Chelsea's teachers to start a daily contact with each of them to be sure that Chelsea was doing her work each day and turning it in. After that meeting, things still didn't improve liked I had hoped, so I made her an appt at the Hospital to see our PCM. Dr. Kearny was so wonderful and put so many of my fears to rest. They gave us survey's to give each teacher and one for the parents to fill out. It was questions about Chelsea's focus, impulsivness (sp) and academics. I knew as soon as I filled out the survey that they were going to diagnose her with ADD. I was heartbroken, but in a way relieved. Finally. I had an answer. Then I was so upset with myself that I had waited so long to take this first step. How horrible of me to put Chelsea through this all these years, but I couldn't focus on all those negative feelings and had to start focusing on how Steve and I were going to make it better. They sent her to the Child Psychologist at the hospital here on base and talked to Chelsea and I about ADD. He explained to Chelsea in a way so she understood what we were talking about. He actually compared it to needing glasses, which I thought was brilliant. So he confirmed the Doctor's diagnosis and they prescribed her medicine.... that horrible word I had been dreading.

Chelsea has been on her meds now for over a month. Let me tell you what a difference this has made. Her grades are moving UP! Yes, UP! Finally! She is able to sit at the table and get her homework done in a reasonable time instead of sitting there all night long. Her behavior has improved so much at home and at school too. She is able to get her planner signed by EACH of her teachers without me having to remind her on a daily basis. These things may seem minor to most parents, but not us! This morning I was awaken by Chelsea standing at my door trying to get Samson out of my room. I looked at my clock and it was 5:15 in the morning. I asked her what she was doing and she said she was done sleeping and was ready to get up for the day. I told her to wake G up at 6:45 to get ready for school and I would be down later. I woke up again about 6:50 and heard water running downstairs. I came down and there was Chelsea in the kitchen all ready for school, doing the dishes for me! She had reorganized the cupboard with all the dishes and had the kitchen cleaned. She then told me that she had taken G's and Tyler's temperature and told me what it was! I was in such shock that I just hugged her! I couldn't believe what a difference there was in her. Now don't get me wrong, things aren't perfect with Chelsea. This medicine doesn't have some kind of magical powers to transform her into the perfect child, but it has improved her in so many ways and I am just thankful.

Sorry this was such a long post. I have been wanting to get this off of my chest for a while. Chelsea has grown into such a beautiful young lady right before my eyes. It makes me sad and long for that little girl again, but I am also looking forward to our wonderful friendship that we will have as adults.

Three down, one to go....

Yes, that is how many sick kids I have right now! Tyler started the whole thing, so I will blame him! Just kidding! I kept Tyler home from school today cause he woke up with a fever once again. I sent G and Chelsea on to school and sure enough I got a phone call from G's school saying he is running a fever. Arghhh....of course! I kind of expected it, but secretly sat with all my fingers and toes crossed hoping it wouldn't happen. That's what I get!
Tyler is on the couch and Jaelyn is lounging in the chair, and poor G is up in his bed. At least he has a tv to watch while he just lays there. Poor kids.
I am just PRAYING (not crossing my fingers and toes anymore) that I don't get whatever this is they have. It will be very bad if I do get it.
I am hoping our house is sick-free by the end of this week, but I won't hold my breath. So far, Chelsea doesn't show any signs of being sick thank goodness.
I will have to post pictures when the kids all get better! Have a great week everyone!

Hmmmm...Where is my daddy?

I wonder where my daddy might be....hmmm...
We all are doing fine here. Steve made it to Texas yesterday about 2:00 in the afternoon. He is glad to be done driving for six weeks! It was a long trip and he claims that he will make it back in TWO days. I believe he can do that, but want him to be safe.

Jaelyn has been asking for her daddy the past few days. It really makes me sad cause she just doesn't understand what "He's in Texas" means at all or "he'll be home in six weeks" either. Today she did get to see him on the web camera. Steve took his to Texas and we have ours here, so we hooked them up and said "hi" to each other. Jaelyn was so happy to see Steve on the monitor. She kept bringing stuff to show him from around the house, it was so cute.

Well, the weekend is over and the kids head back to school tomorrow. Hooray! It was a fun weekend and went way better than what I had thought it would. The kids have actually been on their best behavior, which makes me happy.

Hope everyone had a great weekend too!

Lord, I just ask that you give Jaelyn a peace about her daddy. I know that she can't understand at all where he is right now, but I pray for you to give her that understanding. Thank you for getting Steve to Texas safely. I pray these next six weeks go smoothly for him and his class. I just ask you to please bring him home as quickly and safely as possible! Thank you for all you have done and the many blessings in my life. In Jesus' name we pray..
Amen

A Birthday Bash!

What a day today! I am so pooped just sitting here typing. Today we had G's birthday party and went very well! We had such a good time at Scandia Family Fun Center! The place was packed due to the wonderful California weather we had today. I think the temp reached 75 today!
G's friends showed up and they headed off to play video games, then we had pizza, then cake and ice cream. After the cake and ice cream we headed over to do the go-carts! Oh my goodness, let me just tell you how much fun this is! I was secretly meant to be a race car driver. We jumped in the cars, Tyler and I were together since he couldn't drive and we were off....poor Tyler! I think I might have traumatized my poor, sweet boy! During one of our laps around the track as I was whooping and hollering cause I was having so much fun, Tyler says "Mommy, please don't crash us!!!" I promised him I wouldn't crash and I kept my promise. My poor boy! We then decided to pass up the putt-putt part due to the crowd and made our way home. We had picked up G's brother and sister to bring them to the party, so we took them back home first. They had a great time. They are the sweetest kids and it just breaks my heart even more.
When we got home, Tyler started acting really really sick. I checked his temp and he is running a fever of 103.8. I feel so bad for my poor little man. He wants so badly to get up and play with the other kids, but can't. G has a friend spending the night tonight and he wants to hang with the boys, but I won't let him cause I don't want everyone getting sick. He is bunking with me tonight so the boys can have the bedroom, so hopefully I don't get sick too! He needs as much "mommy" attention as he can get right now...
I thought I would mention how my weight loss is going! It is going great! I love weight watchers so much. I don't feel deprived at all. My goal starting Monday is to elliminate Mt Dew for good! I think I can do it! I HOPE I can do it! I went almost two weeks without it and then made the mistake of drinking one, that just ruined it all for me right there! I need to stay away from it completly! I am currently down 15.8lbs! I have a goal of about 15 more to go and I will be content, after that it will be all about maintaining it. I think that is the hard part.
The biggest thing about what I am doing is just having a healthier eating habit, that means portion control and adding more fruits and veggies to my diet. I feel so much better about myself not only physically, but emotionally too! It makes a difference all around. I don't feel as tired as I usually do either, which is nice for once.
Hope everyone is having a great weekend. I just got off the phone with Steve and he is in New Mexico! He has made great progress today and should be at his base in Texas by tomorrow evening. I will be happy when he gets there. I just hope these next six weeks fly by for me! Thanks for all your prayers, keep them coming!
Lord, Thank you for your traveling mercies for Steve today. I know it's hard for him to ride in a car that long distance and You are giving him the endurance to continue this journey. I pray a hedge of protection around him tomorrow as he travels to Texas. Thank you for my wonderful children and giving me the means to provide a wonderful house and family life for G. He is such a good kid and it just melted my heart today to see him laugh and carry on with his friends today at his birthday party! It was just great seeing him be a kid again Lord. So far, this has been the best reward about being a Foster parent...today! I would much rather give then receive anyday. I lift G's family up to you Lord. After spending the day with G and his siblings, I know they should be back together again. I pray for G's mom, that she is able to get her plan done so they can be reunited once again. I pray for wisdom during these next six weeks to make the right choices and decisions as Steve is away. Thank you for all the support we have here in California. I felt it today more than I ever have. I also want to thank you for my sweet friend Susan! She is such a blessing Lord and I just love her and her family like our own family!
I want to always give you the glory and praise that you deserve. Thank you most of all for dying on the cross for me. In Jesus' name we pray...
Amen!

* I just have to add a big THANKS to Susan today! She was such a blessing to me by helping me out with Jaelyn during G's birthday party. Also tonight she offered to drive over here and bring soup and Sprite for my sweet sick boy. Thank you so much Susan for what your family does for my family. I also want to thank you for sharing your wonderful girls with my family! We love you Hannah and Tess!!

Saying Goodbye....

It is amazing, no matter how many times I see my husband off, whether it's at the airport, putting him on a bus, or just watching him drive away...it never gets easy.
Today was a good day. Steve hung out with us this morning and got some last minute things done around here for me. He is the best husband in the world and worries about us more than he lets on. He made sure my van had fluids, got some trash together that needed to go out the curb, changed the air filter in the A/C unit, and all kinds of stuff! Along with getting his own stuff done. I love this man so much.
As I stood in the driveway and watched Steve drive away today, many things went through my head. "How will I ever make it six weeks as a single mom again?" "What will go wrong this time?"....all kinds of things, but I felt a peace and a comfort beyond anything I can describe. It is almost an odd feeling, not being so worried and scared. You see that is usually how I feel when I am alone, I worry about everything and I am scared of what will go wrong while Steve is away, not this time. I just know that I am stronger in my faith and have more confidence in my parenting style, more than I have ever had before. This is a comfort to me in many ways. I know that no matter what I go through, I will come out a better and stronger person.
Thank you all for your many prayers. Steve made it to Edwards AFB in southern California. His brother Kris was actually stationed there years ago. He said it seems like a big base, but can't tell much cause it is dark out. He has another full day of driving ahead of him tomorrow and then again on Sunday. I am leaving him in God's hands as he drives the many miles further and further away from his family.
Tonight again I am asking you for your prayers. The first night alone is usually the hardest. I lie there wondering what Steve is doing (sleeping) and missing him so much. Missing having the comfort of him sleeping beside me, knowing that he will protect us from all the bad things that could happen. Samson usually crawls in bed with me, but it is never the same as Steve.
Lord, I just lift Steve up to you tonight. I pray he gets a good night's sleep, so he can drive safely tomorrow. I want to thank you for the comfort I feel as I am left alone with my children to take care of them. I know that I can do all things through You Lord. Be with Steve as he travels all day tomorrow and keep him safe. I just want to give you all the praise and the Glory Lord no matter what is going on in my life. Please make these next six weeks go by quickly, so I can be together with my husband again and the kids can have their daddy back too.....
In Jesus' name...
Amen
Me and Steve right before he took off.....
A close-up of us....
Ms. Pre-teen Chelsea. It's hard to believe that she is going to be 13 in June!!

My little man...he has the biggest heart ever!
My ray of sunshine!! Steve and I joke now and say that if we had Jaelyn first....there wouldn't be any other children in our home!!
Steve and the girls..

Steve and the kids!
Ms. Jaelyn climbing like a monkey.

This is totally a Steve Jr! He has now lost that crooked tooth and as you can see the adult tooth was pushing it out. This was his third picture because he kept blinking, so this is how he kept his eyes open...so Steve!
Another of Chelsea...

OK....some pictures finally!!!!

* Make sure you check out both posts from today...boy am I on a roll!!!*

Ooops! I added these twice...sorry you will have to enjoy them twice!
~ So this is so funny of my son! He has lost two front teeth, but has one in the middle that is crooked because the new adult tooth is pushing it out, but it won't fall out! So he looks like he belongs in Kentuck (sorry to offend anyone...ha ha Elissa) but it just cracks me up!!!

My sweet little girl! Look at those big eyes! She has been really good these past few weeks and I pray that she doesn't give me too hard of a time while daddy is away!!
Repeat....

Thank you Steve! He finally fixed my problem with my computer and now I can put some pictures on here. It seems I haven't taken many pictures since I knew I couldn't post them on here...hmmm...I will take care of that now!

Here is a picture of me and Melissa! It was so much fun to meet her! Probably a little awkward at first, but after the first few minutes we hit it off. It was funny knowing so much about a person, but not knowing what they were like in real life...if that makes any sense?

Anyways, I am hoping to make this an annual thing and hopefully Melissa and I can do shopping or something together next year!

A close-up!
These pics are all out of order, but that is to be expected with me! This is what we drove through on the way home...another storm system. We drove through a horrible one on the way down and then of course one on the way home too! We had to take the long way both ways because I-5 was closed in the mountains, so this was the scenic route! We stopped in Santa Barbara at the pier and was brave enough to get out! You can see the wind was blowing pretty good, so I was a little worried about driving out onto the pier!
Here is the pier! Funny how my pics are all out of order...
Heather, my ONE and ONLY jeweler (also one of my best friends too) and I out on our balcony at our Hotel. Let me tell you, this was an awesome hotel! I wasn't ready to come home yet...well I did miss my husband and kids though!

This is Heather and I meeting Andy. He is the founder of the wonderful Company I represent! I love this company and couldn't ask for a job to be able to stay at home with my children.
This is Joan, Andy's wife, they work together and make such a cute couple!

This is our night time view from our hotel. It was raining this night...I think...so it's kind of blurry.

Heather and I in the convention...we learned alot of great new ideas!!
me standing on the balcony of our hotel room. It was very very tiny balcony.....but hey, it was a balcony!

Been gone too long....

Ok...so no pictures once again! My computer is still not right and Steve has it on his to-do list before he leaves in two day!
Where do I even start? It has been crazy since I last posted. My grandma is out of the hospital and doing pretty good. I talk to her pretty much everyday to check in on her. They had to take her knee cap out, so she no longer has one of those, but should still be able to walk pretty normal after she heals. She is one tough cookie and is working hard to heal so she can still come out here!
I have now dropped all of my classes. I was hanging on to the Math class, but my schedule while Steve is gone is just crazy! I haven't had a moment to rest and relax since dropping my classes and he is still here. Tuesday's are crazy busy because G has a two hour visitation with his mom which is about 25 min away, so I will drop him off on Tuesday's right after he gets out of school, run back here to base and grab Chelsea, then go pick up G and drive the opposite direction (about 20 min away) to the Church for them to make it to Youth Group by 6:30. Somewhere in there, I have to find time to feed the kids! Then I wait for an hour and a half while they are at Youth Group! Sounds like fun huh?? So that will be my Tuesday's! G is doing great by the way. We celebrated his 13th birthday yesterday! He had a great day! He was able to celebrate with his mom, grandma, uncle, aunt, and his brother and sister yesterday! It made his day! I know he misses his family so much. Most kids after a visit can act out because they are angry, well not G, he actually is in such a better mood when he comes back. It just confirms that he needs to be with his family.
Since the last time I posted, I also lost Jaelyn's daycare provider. About two weeks ago she gave me notice. I knew she was moving, but thought it was March or so, well it's next week!! I just lost track of time! They are moving to Nevada and I am now out of a daycare provider! I am so sad! So I had to inform Tyler's teacher that I can no longer help out in his class until I find somewhere else to take Jaelyn! When it rains it pours, let me tell ya!
My final and last update is...Steve got tasked. Yes, he will be leaving me this summer. Due to security reasons I can't give alot of details, but he will leave this summer and it will be for six months. He has a date that he has to be "in place" by. The BIG "Praise the Lord" is that he will be going to a much safer zone than his last deployment! They don't even have to take weapons, that's how safe it is! I am so happy for this, you just don't even know! It looks most likely that he will not be home for Christmas this year, but I already was counting on that. It's just that now we have official word about the deployment. I am finding myself through this whole thing though. I know that sounds really unusual and weird, but I have really been evaluating myself and realizing that I am much stronger than I ever thought I was or could ever be. I know the rest of this year is going to be rough. Do I want my husband to leave?No. But I know that I will come out of this a better mother and for sure a better wife. You learn very much to appreciate very very small things about your husband while he is away. It definitley makes the heart grow founder, that is so true. I know my husband is in the Lord's hands, as well as me and the kids. I don't have to worry, in fact, the Bible tells me NOT to worry! I should leave that all up to the Lord! So that is what I am going to do. I am going to enjoy every moment with my husband that I can, and while he is away, I will focus on me and taking care of myself and the kids. It isn't easy being the mommy AND the daddy, there will be moments that I will cry myself to sleep wondering how I will ever make it through another day without my husband, but those will be the moments that I turn my face to God and know that he will be there with me and help me get through those moments. I will find strength in Him to get through that next day of taking care of the children all alone.
Once upon a time, I told my husband (well he was my boyfriend back then) that I would wait for him, this is as he was debating on leaving for the Air Force back in July of 1997. I can remember the day so clearly. We were out in my back yard standing by the trampoline. It was the first time I ever saw Steve so upset. He didn't want to leave me and was actually thinking about NOT joining the Air Force, his long-time dream. I promised him that I would be waiting for him when he returned from Boot camp, and I still mean that to this day. I will wait for him.....no matter how long it is...I meant it then and I still mean it now.....it's a promise.

Lord I just want to thank you for these last few days with Steve. I pray Lord that You watch over him and give him traveling mercy's as he drives for three days to Texas Lord. I know that You will be with him as he is away from his family these next six weeks. I pray for strength, patience, and endurance for myself these next six weeks. I know that I can do anything with You on my side. I want to thank You in advance for all that you are going to do, and I thank You for my four beautiful children. I am so blessed Lord and there isn't a day that doesn't go by, that I don't stop and give You praise for my life.....Thank You...

* Just one last thing, I forgot to mention that Steve leave Friday afternoon to drive to Texas. He has to be there by Monday afternoon and I just am asking for you to pray for him as he travels for three days on the road by himself. He doesn't enjoy driving and so I know it will be tough for him to drive 11 hours at a time. Please keep him in your prayers this weekend.
I promise I won't take too long to update next time. Next post...is dedicated to Chelsea. There has been some updates with her!