Feeling really bad...

I have not been feeling myself since we got back from our trip. I actually am not sure if I am fighting a cold/flu or if I am just extremely jet-lagged. It is horrible cause one minute I feel fine and the next my head is spinning. I am probably going to make myself a doctor's appt this week if I don't start feeling any better.
That is not the only reason I am feeling bad though. Yesterday G finally got through to his grandma on the phone. He has tried a couple of times to contact her without getting through to her. So he chatted on the phone with her for a little while. It was interesting to hear him talk to her about all the things he has done since he has been here. He also talked all about flying (sitting in the cockpit) and our trip. I actually felt bad for his grandma to sit and listen to all the fun he is having while away from his family. After he hung up the phone he said he really wants to see his grandma and she really wants to see him. I told him that as soon as his SW sets up something we will make sure it happens. I also told him that if we don't hear from his SW (county not our agency) then I will contact her and let her know that he wants to see her. G started talking about all these things his grandma claimed to have got him and that "She knows me and what I like." I know that he didn't intend to hurt my feelings, but in a way it did. We have been doing everything we can to make him have a happy stay here and it just seemed like he didn't even think about that. But I am a big girl and once I got over the initial hurt of his words, I knew that he just really misses his grandma and being apart of his family. They DO know him, way better than I do, so I shouldn't get offended by that statement at all. I am just going to continue what I am doing and that is getting to know G more and more everyday. He wants to see his grandma so badly. I have a feeling that this is the one and only person that he connects with. He tells me all the time that he doesn't want to go back to his mom and he doesn't like her at all. I know he has a lot of angry feelings towards her, but this just breaks my heart when he talks like that. He calls her a liar all the time. I would be so heartbroken if one of my kids said that about me. I also am not sure what to say when he says these things. Today I told him to have faith, that maybe she might get her act together and he shook his head and said "nope, she won't and never will." That just broke my heart. Maybe I shouldn't tell him to have faith, maybe he is right about her? I just am not sure what to say to him when he says these things about his mom, cause after all she is still his mom. It has been six weeks since he has seen her or had any contact with her and I feel horrible. I know deep down inside he wants to talk to her and tell her about what he has been doing, but at the same time he is angry with her for not stepping up and being a mom. Poor guy. This is why I am fighting so badly for him to be in counseling. I don't have all the answers, and he needs someone that he can share all of his feelings with about the whole situation. Hopefully something happens this week.
Now on to my next pre-teen, Chelsea. She has become soooo boy crazy all of the sudden. She has a boy that lives two houses down from us that she really likes. From what I hear, he likes her too. SHe is WAAAAY too young to be thinking about boys already. I have sat her down and told her that she is too young. It's ok to like boys, but not think about having a relationship! We just can't get through to her about it though. I am praying about it too, but it is just driving me crazy. The worst part is that she gets all emotional about the whole thing and starts crying whenever we talk to her about it. Steve told her the other night, that she better tone it down with this boy cause he doesn't want HIM to step in! Ohhhh I didn't expect this to happen just yet. I just don't want her to be anything like me when I was that age. THe thing I have on my side is that I am teaching her about Jesus and being a Godly woman, where my parents didn't. I just have to do lots of praying during these pre-teen years. A friend from church that has grown children told me that I wasn't going to like her for the next few years. She even said at some times I might Hate her....hopefully not, but I am sure there will be some strong feelings from both of us.
Tonight we took our Christmas picture, but sadly I can't post it on here. G is in the picture with us of course. I need to check with our SW worker to see if we can even put him on our Christmas cards. If not, then there won't be a picture this year on our cards. That's ok. THis is what I signed up for. Whatever it takes to make him feel apart of our family.
Tonight I am lifting up my children in prayer. I know this is selfish, but I want to take the time to lift them up in prayer. Lord I give you G, Chelsea, Tyler, and Jaelyn tonight. I pray for them to make Godly decisions throughout their lives Lord and to be pleasing to You. I thank you for trusting these precious children to me and Steve and I pray that you continue to give us the wisdom to raise them up into Godly adults. I pray that they surrender all to you one day Lord.
Thank you for all that you have done for them Lord and I pray that you continue to keep them safe. I want to thank you for my family. I am thankful each and every day that I have them with me. I am grateful for each day that we spend together and the memories that we create. You are an almighty God and I give you all the praise and the Glory.
In Jesus' name we pray....
Amen